Kenyan Humour

We are soon going to lose Alfred Mutua's 'I AM PROUD TO BE KENYAN' and be proud to be East Africans. I have been wondering whether this is good or bad. One, we shall stop fighting over Migingo island and losing sleep over whether the fish we are eating is either Ugandan or Kenyan. Second, our dressing, our food and every other thing that makes us sooooo Kenyan, like being loud mouths and rude and stubborn over nothing will be watered down by Tanzanians. And just last year we had a parliamentary debate in Uganda where the MPs were vehemently opposing wearing of miniskirts. Now these MPs should get busy like Kenyan MPs putting their fingers in the coffers because once we go East African, they will never be elected to parliament. I was afraid that the MPs would banish the miniskirt wearers to Kenya and my reaction was 'Oh My God! They will come to muddle our already muddled fashion waters'. Later, I was relieved to realize that what Ugandans call miniskirts are ...

My creative juices have migrated to my legs which means that I did more wandering than thinking about this column. Since this is where I get my daily bread, and got to eat, and can't fail to post a column, I decided to join the abortion fray which I hoped would give me enough word count for a column. It did not disappoint. I'll start with a lady from the NGO world who thinks abortion is the next most innovative idea after Albert Einstein's light bulb. First, I think she should have been aborted. Second, she is mixing up issues. She talked of aborting children that are a result of rape as if we can't solve this rape thing. What the constitution should propose to curb rape, is to use a farm implement that has an Italian sounding name - a burdizzo (Sorry you won't find it in the dictionaries because I forget the spelling. Check a Std 8 agriculture text book) and burdizzo one or two men and the rest will think twice before hopping onto an unwilling woman even und...

This week has been dry news wise, that is for those of us who no longer consider the constitution debate newsworthy anymore. So I got down to cleaning my house and changing the newspaper covers that have been in the cupboards since the Nyayo Era and I came across some articles which I thought that even though they are ancient history, they are still worth mentioning. I am not a proponent of AGEISM, but I am going to say something that will unnerve some of you in the reading audience and as always when I say something unnerving I don't give a rat's behind. Most of our Presidents should be in classes studying the Internet and mobile telephony. I came across this story which intimated that French President Sarkozy had been robbed on the Internet because he can't keep his 'user name' and password safe. It is possible that at his age and profession he doesn't leave many brain cells devoted to memorizing his personal details. Sir, that is why we carry cards to remi...