Wednesday, September 9, 2009

A THOUSAND WORDS

The current water situation has deteriorated so much that it has caused some of us to be brain damaged. I am talking about the last time we were queueing for water the whole night and, there we were, several women who have respectable careers as we prattled on through the night and I am even ashamed to write about what we were talking about. Yes, ashamed! We were talking about two housegirls who had left their employers, who were now fetching water with us.
You would have thought that we would have the presence of mind to talk about say, the 'unlawful' re-appointment of Justice Ringera or the 'Shut up' bluff by Hon. Mutula Kilonzo or the Mau forest which was the reason we were out in the cold in the first place. But No. We were seated on jerrycans all night long talking about some two girls who had decided that they were not going to carry another jerrycan of water up the damn stairs again!

So woman No. 1 said: I heard them planning to leave. It was all planned on the balcony.

Employers (in unison and totally surprised at this revealing tidbit of information they had just recieved): And you didn't tell us?

Woman No. 2: Infact, they used to host some eerie looking men in your houses, while your children picked and ate whatever food particles they found on the verandahs.

Employers: Haki and you didn't tell us?

Woman No. 1 We have a 'mind your own business' policy in this plot.

One of us would leave with her filled jerrycan to empty it into her Ndakaini and come back with another tidbit of information that her mind had just unearthed from her memory. This new piece of information would spark off the memory of another woman and another round of prattle centered on the two girls now turned fiends, would start all over again and that is how we managed to sit all night long with each one of us carrying an approximate 500 litres of water up several flights of stairs.

We also have this neighbour who it helps to mention that he belongs to the Akorino sect who came to fetch the precious commodity. But even he has suffered some brain damage from the current water situation because (get ready) he came out to fetch his water in his turban, red T-shirt and checked boxer shorts. And I am not talking about the Akorino who wear funny yellow, purple or red gowns with stuffed headgears. I am talking about the suit wearing crowd, the ones who even if you pass them in the streets you don't notice them because they easily blend with the metallic electricity posts.

But you couldn't ignore my neighbour and therefore my enterpreneural mind clicked into gear, remembering the old adage that a 'picture is worth a thousand words'. I was thinking of reaching for my mobile phone and take a photograph of the poor guy and sell it to international media. Donors, on seeing the picture of the hapless guy would come with money in sacks to help us dig boreholes in every available open space! My mind then was working like a computer because I even thought of having a career change and heading straight to the mountains of Afghanistan to hunt down Osama bin Laden and take his photograph as he emerges from his tent or cave or hole or whatever other structure he calls home. Wouldn't it be fascinating, (not to mention that I would be the richest woman in the continent) to take a snap of of Osama in his characteristic turban and boxer shorts? I am getting ahead of myself but can you believe all this plan to get very wealthy was going on as my neighbour kept asking for his jerrycan because they all look alike and I happened to be the one at the controls of the tap?

So the government needs to do something about the current water situation so that we can go back to talking about the politics of telling off nosy ambassadors!